Here are the top ten tell tale signs that could indicate that couples have begun to take each other for granted. Of course we all experience these from time to time, but taken together they spell trouble and a sign that it is time to do something to bring back the romance and the appreciation you once had for each other!
The Dreaded '10'
1. You don't make an effort to spend quality time together
This is sometimes difficult but remember when you would give up ANYTHING for a date with your partner?
3. You don't care about your appearance when around your partner
He doesn't bother to shave when you go out, she slops around in her old track suit and doesn't bother to pluck her eyebrows. Of course we are more relaxed with our partners and that is a good thing - but don't forget to dress up and knock the pants off each other now and again!
4. Feeling bored or irritated with each other most of the time
Squabbling constantly about little things? Time to ask yourself when last you had FUN together!
5. Less communication
Not even bothering to ask each other how the day was or say 'have a good day' when you leave home in the morning.
6. Decline in affection
Not kissing and hugging goodbye or hello - or only giving a boring old routine peck out of habit.
7. The fun is gone
Seldom smiling at each other or having a laugh together.
8. Comfort Zone
Sitting for hours in front of the TV with hardly two words to say to each other every night.
9. Negative attention
When you DO go out for dinner, you find you don't have anything to say and the evening is awkward and difficult - sometimes so awful that you pick a fight just to get some reaction!
10. Out of mind
You forget birthdays and special occasions like anniversaries and Valentine's Day is just a big chore or a non-event.
Although we are all inclined to go for the grand gestures, it is often the little things that make a huge difference in rekindling the spark and keeping the love fires burning!
Here's what you can do to rekindle your love and to make each other feel special…
1. Quality time
One of the most important is to make time to spend together - away from children, work, household chores and talk about bonds, finances, problems, etc. In today's stressed world this can be difficult but it is very important. It is all about priorities and the way you see things. If you feel guilty spending time away from the kids, ask yourselves how important it is to your children that their parents are together in a happy relationship - then work on it!
2. Woo each other
Don't stop courting each other - those little surprises, flowers and sexy sms's during the day help to keep things fresh and exciting and make your partner feel special!
3. Make a fuss
Spoil your partner on birthdays, anniversaries and Valentine's Day. Go out of your way to make the day special - it will speak volumes about how you feel about your partner.
4. Show you care
Ask how the day was and remember to ask when something important has happened - like a performance review at work or a interview for example.
Hold hands, go for walks together, be affectionate in public
Plan regular dates, go away for weekends together - yes it can sometimes be an effort but couples who do not spend quality time together will find that their closeness begins to disappear and they begin to take each other for granted
8. Put in the work
Think of it like this - if you did not exercise regularly and followed an unhealthy lifestyle, would you expect your body to stay toned and healthy? Of course not! Now apply the same principle to your relationship. Just because you are married or living together doesn't guarantee that your relationship will stay healthy and that will always be in love with each other! All relationships need maintenance!
9. The right language
Talk about things if you feel that the closeness is disappearing but be careful not to blame. Words like 'You never pay attention to me' or 'you always forget my birthday' are bound to cause defensiveness and are seldom helpful. Rather say 'I miss our kisses and cuddles - let's plan some quality time together'
10. Take control
If you feel there is a problem, don't expect your partner to change first or feel resentful. See what changes YOU can make first. If the first attempts don't live up to your expectations, keep trying - you will be surprised at the difference it makes!